I'm Starting Over and "Striking the Past"

Happy Hump Day Everyone

2006-05-31T11:24:00.000-04:00

All about Wednesday...

The mid-day of the week is named for the Norse God, Odin. He was also known as Woden or Wotan. Unlike many of the other days of the week, this day did not correspond roughly with the Roman designation for the day. (The Roman's named Wednesday for the messenger God - Mercury - In Romanian, the day is still known as miercuri). The early Scandanavians and Germans believed that Odin was the chief God of Asgard and as such deserved to have a day of the week named for him. The Anglo-Saxons used the word, Wodnesdaeg.

Wednesday is often reffered to as "hump day" because of its position as the middle day of the work week. If the work week were a hill. Then Wednesday would be the crest. It is all down hill from there. (Whether the down hill ride is a coast or a descent into a swamp is left to the individual.)

Crap or Get Off the Pot...

2006-05-31T11:14:00.000-04:00

I had a comment posted by "annonomous" after yesterday's post. It was an eye opener and sort of a motivational comment. I have been thinking non-stop about it and they are 100% right.

So, October 1st I will file for a divorce. In our state it takes 90 days uncontested. January 1, 2007 will start a whole new page in my book. We have already talked about divorce and neither of us are going to take each other through the ringer. We are going to try and do everything civilly. Why October 1st?? I can get our home in order, do some painting, fix a few minor things, sell some crap on Ebay, save some money, look for other housing, have her get a job, sell our home, ease into telling our families, the kids, the friends, etc.

5 months to go before I file. I can get everything done, who knows - maybe sooner. I'd like to file first, but at this point, I really don't care.

Wish me luck. I'm done being screwed over.

Striker.

I'm getting worn out...

2006-05-30T15:27:00.000-04:00

Sorry that I haven't written in a little while. Things have been a bit hectic. Working my butt off right now between my full time job, my part time job, and all the other little "business ventures" I'm working with. I am physically and mentally exhausted!!

I caught her again lying about things. She had another "meet-up" with someone. She drops the kids off at a friends house (the same friend that is screwing around on her hubby) and goes wherever with whoever. I asked my daughter if she had fun at the playgroup (my wife told me that's what they were doing) and she said, "Yep, Mommy dropped us off and we had a lot of fun. Mommy went to the mall or something." I said, "Oh, cool. I am glad you had fun..." Hmmm?? So, I asked my wife and she said she had to "run back home to grab a few things and she came right back. More friggin lies.

I found another email saying she is planning on divorcing me. She is also looking for a full time job. In all reality, it will be much better when she has a job. I would hate to see her struggling even though she is one of the most cold-hearted people I know. I have been working so much my back is killing me. Lots of lifting at my part time job. Over the weekend, I somewhat hurt my back and asked if I could sleep in our room. (waterbed - heated, comfy, etc...) She had the cold heart to say a flat out "No." It's my friggin house too. She pays ZERO to the mortgage. I am sick and tried of the bullcrap. I am stuck in a small room (used to be our office) on the corner of the house. The hottest room of the house even with the A/C on. She could care less. She is mean, unforgiving, uncaring, and unfaithful. She touts to be a real Christian person. Hah!! She'll soon find out what she is giving up.

Sorry for the ranting. I am just getting worn out now. There will be a happy post tomorrow.

Striker.

Invisalign Part 2

2006-05-10T16:00:00.000-04:00

I'm on my second set of Invisalign braces and they hurt like heck!!! They put "speedbumps" in my mouth and these braces are now pulling and rotating in some strange ways. I am looking forward to the end result and I can't wait!!

Everything else has been staying the same. I think she is up to something for this upcoming weekend. I am caring less and less unfortunately. I am tried of being a doormat.

See ya all later,
Striker

"Skidding in Sideways"

2006-05-08T14:03:00.000-04:00

Here is a great quote that I found today: "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ...holy cow ...what a ride!"

Had a great weekend doing lots of outside things. The weather was absolutely perfect! Found out on Friday that the Wife was going to meet up with her "Cheating Partner" during the day on Friday. She was going to ship the kids off to a babysitter (her girlfriend that is also cheating on her hubby - they feed off each other I guess) I confronted her once again and she tells me it was a setup to see if I was still checking up on her and she tells me it's all about me, me, me. She says her life has been turned upside down too. Hmmm... I'm not the one getting the best of both worlds?? So her setting me up - Not true at all - because I found a printed off email the next day saying they were going to meet at a food establishment about 45 minutes from here and then "go from there." There were also several calls coing into our home that were unknown name/unknown number type calls. What a friggin liar. I think that is what is pissing me off the most anymore. I find stuff - she flat out lies. This is all so not her. I don't know what has happenend. She has no care in the world and is acting like a rebelious teenager. I still pray for her.

I found out she is also talking to some lawyer guy (online) and she is getting advise from him. Note: he is also looking for love online and is married too... Isn't this book material?

I figured I might as well start hinting to others that things are "on the rocks" so people aren't so shocked when we split. I am 95% sure that is where it is going. How can I stay with her if she feels cheating is okay? I am really upset about it - but I am realizing there is nothing I can do anymore between us. I have told people little things so far (nothing about cheating) - I told my parents, some friends, and a few co-workers. All I told them were things weren't great and we are bickering a lot. One of my friends told me to set up more spy things on our computer so I have evidence against her. I don't know if I want it to go that way though - I'd like to keep it as civil as possible. He had the same issues with his wife.

I just don't know what to do anymore. She is either going to get herself in harms way by meeting someone online thru chat rooms (not even places like eharmony or something) or is going to get caught by the "Cheating Partner's" spouse and then be in harms way. These are the places that weirdos tend to hang out lurking for someone. I can't do anything about it anymore.

In other news, I made some new friends recently and am going to hang out with all of them soon! I am sure she'll lvoe to hear that I am going out to have a good time...

I am trying to remain as positive as I can, but it is very hard...
Striker

Quiet on the Homefront

2006-05-01T13:32:00.000-04:00

So far, so good with Invisalign!! I haven't had any of the problems and issues that I have read about online. My teeth actually feel different already! I haven't been eating as much since it's such a pain. I have been faithfully exercising too.

Started my part time job this weekend. I'll be selling things at a better quality retailer. It pays an hourly wage and then you get commission for larger item purchases and warranty sales. I had a job like this in the past at a very similar retailer and did very well. Everyone has told me I should go into Sales as a full time job but most Sales jobs pay little and you have to depend on commissions. I can't take that chance right now - but maybe someday! I always wanted to get into selling real estate, but our market is absolutely FLOODED right now with real estate agents. Just on our road, I know of three!

Things at home are quiet. I am trying my best to stay to myself and play with my kids as much as I can. I had a pretty good weekend considering. Moved some weights and things into my room, organized a bit, did the usual lawn work. (I still do pretty much everything in the house from dishes to wash to outdoor work - If I didn't - it would never get done... I take that back - she did do some wash this weekend and cleaned the kitchen once, but I did the rest.)

I still am having a real hard time with the fact she has cheated (or is still cheating) and I am the bad guy that had to move out of our room. She is living proof of the old saying "Wants her cake and eats it too..." I still pay for everything too. (She's getting her nails and hair done this week - there goes another $150 bucks). I just want this to be over sooner than later. I am starting to get impatient. I just want to get this little bit of debt cleaned up and I think it'll be the right time. As much as she has done to me, I don't want to stick her with anything, but I also don't want to get stuck with everything either. I would like to see everything go 50/50, but who knows. I am very, very organized and prepared for the outcome, no matter which way it goes. I have everything very well documented, screen prints, telephone records, etc.

Pray for me that everything works out well and for the best.

Best to All,
Striker

The Invisalign Diet

2006-04-27T14:20:00.000-04:00

I have been in my new room for a while now. My back is aching, I have neck pain, and constant headaches. The mattress I am sleeping on is very, very old... Enough of me complaining.

This week has been fairly good. I got Invisalign Braces the other day to fix some crowding of my teeth and to line everything up. It's something I did for me. Something to make me very happy. That's what I need right now - happiness. Anyway I can get it - I'll take it.

My first few days in them have been good. I am supposed to only take them out when I eat. It's a real pain to take them out because then you have to brush, floss, mouthwash, etc and then scrub the aligners and then put them back in when you're done eating. Do you know what this means? I am officially on the Invisalign Diet ! I am not snacking throughout the day, no more quick picks of candy, nuts, m&m's, sodas, cake, iced teas, and juices. The only thing I can have while wearing them is water, unless I take them out. My Doctor told me most patients lose about 12 pounds the first month!!! I can not wait!!! I'll keep you posted on the weightloss success. I am incorporating exercise into my new diet too.

In other news, I am reading some financial books on how to save even more money than I am currently trying to do. I have read a few of David Bach's books recently. He is a great writer and even a motivator. I met him in person not too long ago.

I can't wait to start my new job on Saturday!! I am really looking forward to it! I will be out of debt sooner than I think if I apply most of the money I earn towards it for a little while. The sooner the better!

It's absolutely beautiful out today! We had a little picnic/bbq here at work today and I stayed there the entire time! Usually, I run right back to work. I met some new people, networked a bit, etc. It was a great time!

~Striker

I can't wait!

2006-04-18T10:09:00.000-04:00

When we first got married, my Wife went away on a business trip by herself and I was devestated. As a new husband, I wanted to protect her and was worried about her. I learned I needed to trust her and I knew she would be fine. I was okay after a day or so.

Fast forward almost 9 years - she is going away on another business trip. I do know that there is a business expo for her business and I know she has paid tons of money to go and others are going with her. What I am unsure of, is who she will meet there. I don't trust her at all. I had found some papers a while ago saying to someone she couldn't wait for this trip. She has cheated on me several times already. Hmmmmm.....

Weird thing is - I can't wait until she goes. It will give us time apart. (Thursday till Sunday) I can reflect on what is happening in my life and will allow me to really kick-in and start over. I can spend awesome quality time with my two beautiful children. We have so much planned! I can organize my "files" and my "journal" too. Heck, maybe I'll even sleep in our bed again! Why sleep on an air mattress?

We'll be hitting some kid-fun hot spots in the city, going to a motorcycle-cop show, lots of water ice and ice cream, the park, and all sorts of other fun stuff. It's going to be great! I start my new part time job in two weeks (end of April) and I really want to spend some time with my kids. This will be the perfect week for that!

I can't wait!!

Best Wishes to All,
Striker

Here comes Peter Cottontail...

2006-04-14T09:37:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter Everyone!! I probably won't be posting this weekend because I'll have eyes watching over me, so I thought I'd write a little something today. We're going to go over to our church tomorrow and have an Easter Egg Hunt with our kids. It'll be a ton of fun. I am trying to spend as much quality time with them as I can because I don't know how much longer I'll have that on a daily/every minute basis. Sure, I'll have them on weekends and such, but I'm doing what I can now to give them the best of everything.

My Wife, who hasn't gone to church in so long, says we should really go on Sunday. I agree, but I feel so uncomfortable around her anymore in public. She is so un-attached to me it is noticeable. After church on Sunday we are heading over to a restuarant to meet my Parents for an early Easter Dinner. My Parents don't really know what is going on with us yet. They have heard me say some general complaints, like she is ungrateful, miserable, etc...

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone! May the Easter Bunny take care of you all on Sunday!

~Striker

Sex Study Findings - Funny Stuff!

2006-04-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

Last night was a tough one. I'm still in our "joint" bedroom, but I think I'll be moving into the office/my new room on Saturday or Sunday. We had a talk last night before bed. I told her I wanted to feel loved, appreciated, and wanted. I am so damn tired of rejection all of the time. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle all of this. If I could move tomorrow, I would. I am so tired of begging and pleading. I feel pathetic at times. I get to work this morning and I have one of those emails that have been forwarded to 17 million others. It says, "Sex Survey"

New Sex Study... It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

Funny Stuff!! I feel like this is my life anymore.

I read a book called Divorce Busting recently and I look at their message boards every once in a while. They say to not push your spouse into loving you again. They say to "GAL" (Get A Life) - how can you do that when you are constantly put down and rejected over and over and over again? They say to go out and do your own thing and be vague about what you tell her. Be busy when she needs you. They are saying as a last resort - go dark - completely shut her off and out of your life, be unbelievably happy around her, get new friends from both sexes. Knowing her, she won't even be happy with this because she stays home all day with the kids. How is that fair to her? I'm doing my best, but it is going to be a hard long road ahead.

Not sure if anyone is even reading my posts, but this avenue of expression is helping me clear my head a bit.

Take care everyone!
~Striker

On my way to making some extra cash

2006-04-12T14:58:00.000-04:00

Well, I interviewed for a part time job yesterday morning. They called me back for a second interview yesterday evening. Today, I got called and I got the job. They offered me my hourly rate and I pushed back and so far they brought it up some. Hopefully, by the end of my negotiations with them, they'll come up some more. I start at the end of the month. If I work the hours they say I'll be working, our debt will be paid off within a year, if that. Exactly where I want to be! Debt-free in a year.

So I did some reading last night and I read that everyone should make up a list of 100 things you want to do before you die. I believe this is a great motivating tool for me to save money, to be healthy and fit, and to realize that I am still able to dream big even though my marriage is sinking quicker than the Titanic. I started thinking of things today and wow, there is some awesome things I'm going to do! Walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding, pay for both of my kids college educations, Retire by 55, own a boat, give money to unsuspecting needy people, the list goes on...

I feel good today and I hope you do too!

~Striker

I'm Starting Over as of Today

2006-04-11T15:37:00.000-04:00

My brand new start! Like a small seedling of a tree ~ I am starting fresh with a new beginning!

I am wiping the old slate clean. Not that I had any drastic things happen in my life. Not that I am hiding anything. Nothing big. Just want a clean slate for a change.

I'm gonna start rethinking and rehashing out things. Rethinking goals, opportunities, life's ways in general, career, money, debt, physical fitness, organizational skills, you know... life....

I'm in my early 30's, married with two awesome kids. My marriage is in trouble because my wife has decided she needs "more" and she "just doesn't know what she wants" anymore. Over the past year or so, I have changed so much since she told me she "doesmn't love me anymore." I've read book after book, websites, blogs, everything I could get my hands on to understand how I could change. I'm now a better Husband, Father, worker, etc. Everyone notices - except her. She has hurt me in so many ways (cheated a few times, lies, talked about me to everyone, etc.) Why do I stay? My kids mean the world to me.

My Wife then kicks me out of the bedroom because she wants time apart (but living in the same house) so that she can refocus her life. She claims to have given up the boyfriend. So, in the next few days I will be moving into another room of our home. My Wife cheats on me, and I have to leave the bedroom? I'll do it for now, but it probably won't last very long. My hopes are 1 year or less. I have a second interview today for a part time job. With that extra money, I am paying off or significantly reducing our debt and saving as much money as I possibly can. After one years time, if things are still not going well, I am out of there. She keeps threatening me with divorce. It has gotten to the point that I hope and pray that I'll be able to do it to her first. I feel the worst though for my kids. I love them more than anything else in this world. They are my support system. They are my life.

In other aspects of my life...

My job pays well, but it is not what I want to do in life. I believe I have succeeded well so far in my short life. I have done so much. The problem is the things I love to do, don't pay that well. I want to live well and comfortable. I need some money to do that. I am always looking for ways to make money legally or win the lottery (lol).

I need to get myself back in shape too. Stress can kill you, stress also adds very unhealthy weight to you. I now have this major problem. Starting today, that is all about to change. No more buying fast food, junk foods, soda, you know.. the bad stuff. My new part time job will be laborous and hard. I need that. I will exercise daily - starting TODAY!

I want to change my look. Besides losing weight, I am getting my teeth fixed. I am getting invisable braces!! They should be ready by mid-May! They are the take in and out kind. They look like mini mouthguards and you wear them for 22 hours every day. I'll be wearing them for the next 16 months or so. Best of all - THEY ARE FREE!! I am doing a review on them in exchange for them. Long story - more on that in another post some time.

Other than those things, My life is great! I erased everything in my book and am starting over. In a way - I am "Starting Over and Striking the Past!"

So this is my first post. I am hoping that this blog will become read by others in my situation.

Please comment if you all read this. I am open to suggestions, improvements, and critisism at any time.

My Best Wishes to All of You!!
Striker